This Dude is So Authentic...

Scales of Justice. Part Two.

Y'all heard about Remy Ma? Well, apparently, while Tip Harris was walking out of a federal courthouse with his hands free, Remy was handcuffed and escorted deeper within the walls of her respective courthouse, sobbing cries of what I'd think was a bitter mix of shock and dread. Mind you, I hadn't been following her particular case too tough, but I couldn't honestly say that I thought she'd be seriously punished. Even her lawyer Ivan Fisher said, "Remy's taking this really, really hard. She didn't anticipate this." Nah, ya think?

What allegedly happened to put Remy Ma in this situation: Last summer, she and a girlfriend were out, Remy suspected that the friend took three grand from her, according to the friend, she didn't take the money, and when she told Remy this, it fell on deaf ears and Remy proceeded to shoot her in the gut. Okay?

I googled Remy Ma and it seems like every news site has this story up (As a side note: Why does it seem like you never see the positive shit hip hop's involved in on these sites as top stories?). I didn't see anything about her having a crazy crime record or anything before this, so I guess she really was like, "Naw, first offense. I'll be home in a bit."

What she said happened as far as the gun going off, sounded crazy as hell: She and the girl were in the car wrestling over the gun and it "just went off". The prosecution argued that with it being the type of gun that it is, she'd have to cock it back with two hands consciously before it could be fired. And it was loaded up with hollow points. Tsk [shaking head]. In saying that, there's no way in hell that the gun could "just go off." That's where she fucked up.

Even if she said that she didn't have the gun with her the whole time and someone else could've cocked it back and left it ready, that would've sounded less crazy. Anyways, she could've killed that girl. Thankfully, she didn't lose her life. It's sad to see someone else in a position where they could've just had fun living life, possibly making a positive difference in anything, headed to the big house for who knows how long. She's facing 25 though. Five- at the very least. Dumb mistake. Sometimes it's okay to be lame and stay at the house and make music, polish your lyrics or whatever. She's 26 years old.

The Scales of Justice.

Y'all heard about Mr. Harris? Well, it seems T.I. has gotten a very light slap on the wrist. Within a matter of weeks he went from looking at twenty-five/thirty years for those pesky gun charges, to getting a year of house arrest, three years of pissing in a cup, fifteen hundred hours of com service to "at-risk" youth, $100,000 fine and possibly one full year in prison and all that is based on his behaviour and ish- of course...

What woulda happened if he didn't change his plea? He waived his Miranda rights in the first place all those months ago, that fateful day of the BET Awards, when "'em people" got him in that Publix parking lot in Midtown. He knew then that he was fucked basically and started talking without a lawyer. I think that he definitely wanted to put himself in a better position than he would've been in had he just been like, "Man, I know y'all got the tapes and shit, but that ain't my voice. I don't even know what a machine gun look like in real life."



He was going 'not guilty' at first though and people were worried and what not, like, "Damn, that's it for that nigga." But now that he got off type easy to be a convicted felon (almost everyone I spoke with expected- years) people were calling the radio mad as hell. In a sense, I feel them. It's not fair that your cousin was a convicted felon, got caught with guns and got years. But how does anyone in good conscience curse a defendant (who didn't in actuality hurt anyone-not at the time anyway) for not getting enough time. Are you serious? And then scream favoritism, like T.I. is a 21 year old blue eyed frat boy whose parents paid for his college ed at Notre Dame. Since when did popular rappers who came from nothing, came from the hood with a criminal record to boot, since when were these cats favored in the courtroom? Usually they try and throw 'em under the jail. That shit is laughable.



Jarvis told me the realest ish though, what makes the most sense: Money. I mean, T.I. isn't in the top ten percent but he's caked up a bit. More than your ex-con cuz. But then we need to admit that the justice system obviously isn't fair and that's unfortunate. Jail is a business, everyone knows that (every Black person that lives in a city should know that), so should it surprise us that the institution (the courts) used to put people in jail/prison is about that paper as well? Different consequences for different people. It's like, the hardest lesson to learn: Just because she did it and didn't get caught doesn't mean you can do that crazy shit. What 's happens to her may not happen to you. Vice versa. Part Two tomorrow kids.

"Y'all N----z Ain't Tired Right?"

One [one], Two [two], Three [three], Four [four]... Breathe easy.
Yeah I'm on my Jay ish today. I dunno, maybe even after the show in a couple weeks, we'll see hon.

I know this though, I'm catching my second wind "as soon as the first one end/ I-M focused man". Sorry, I couldn't resist. Seriously though, I'm overwhelmed but I think I'll make it. Tired of the mundane but I'm fine. My homie is doing his writing thing (officially-trust me when I say that) and the other day he was real with me like, "Either shit or get off the pot." LOL. Never heard him talk like that before so I was like, Okay for real now, no excuses. So here I am, "in great shape dunny."

"All I Neeeed..."

Some fresh Alifes...

A couple stacks...

Sandy beach and some sun on my back...

Some more hours- just in one day...

Oh and one of these bad boys...

[I know you ain't think I was gonna bust a rhyme...]

Could've Gone to This...

But of course your girl had to put in four thankless hours at the gig, leaving early anyways, but with no extra outfit in the trunk, here I am at the house, waaay over on the Eastside, sharing this with all of you.

I still have a couple of hours before the Clipse/Re-Up Gang go on, I've been a fan for a while. But I'm especially curious to see what type of crowd they bring out. I recently heard that they have a hellified indie rock following, if you can believe that...

Anyways, it would've been nice if I could've covered this and stuck it in the portfolio. Que sera. There will be others.

"And You Say New York City!"

Guess who got their ticket? Finally. Jarvis isn't a fan too tough ("Why he always talkin' 'bout himself? Can't he rhyme without talkin' 'bout himself so much?" LOL.), so he's not coming. I will be there, toasted, with the homie Shid by my side, reciting lyrics from the summer of 9-6. "Slick like a gato, Mano a mano, you ain't ready..."

We Need a Flippin' Vacation...

I feel like I'm going stir crazy. Obviously not from sitting in a 4 X 6 ft. prison cell for months at a time (the literal meaning) but doing the same thing day in and day out with no scheduled break from the monotony. I swear, I feel like pulling my effing hair out. I shouldn't complain, and usually I try not to, because, really, I could be doing much worse. I think maybe we just need to get away though. There's so much that I still need to do. I'm at work and the people that come in act as if all I've done in life and all I'm good at is taking their orders. "I want the Hanger steak. Got that? The Hanger steak. Okay?"

I miss school. I miss having assignments and projects. But what can I do? At this point I've got to work, so if we could just break away, even for three days- I'd feel a little bit better. Last year we didn't even go far, and we didn't go flashy, we went to Clearwater, FL, just me, Jarvis and Keiko. She was acting up but it was chill just to be somewhere other than home for a weekend. Ima do something though before I throw a steak knife at someone's head in there.

Why Are We Still On This?

One of my supreme pet peeves is having someone tell me that I'm pretty- to be dark skinned. I absolutely hate hearing that. It's really prickling to hear it from a Black man. Especially when he's a couple shades lighter or darker than you. It would be so much better to simply say: "You're pretty." What's so hard about plainly telling someone who happens to be of a darker complexion that they are beautiful without any of the "even though"s or the "although"s.

A friend of mine, super Afrocentric, follower of Islam, I like him a lot- but today, he got a little bit tipsy and he called himself complimenting me with that. I was almost mortified but Jarvis always tells me not to let that stupid shit bother me (he's my shade). I was annoyed, but I can't call our friendship off because of that. It's sad but the truth is: that mess is deep rooted in our culture, it started in slavery times! If I cut everyone off that thought like that, I'd probably have three friends/associates.

He was like, most dark skinned girls that he meets: they are either self conscious about their skin tone or they hate light skinned girls. At that point I looked at him like, "Go on..." But I still didn't get why he would think that his compliment was well worded. The white girl he said it in front of looked puzzled. Maybe she didn't think that went on within our race- I dunno.

I can't speak for every dark skinned girl, but I know that growing up in NY City, around Puerto Ricans, Dominicans, Columbians, Asians, white kids and light skinned Black kids; I never felt like I hated them because they were lighter than me. I never felt anything about my dark skin. I just knew that it was mine, I never wanted to change it. Never thought I'd be "better" if I was lighter. Most of my family is dark skinned with dark eyes. I never felt like I needed to "make up" for my dark skin with aqua green contacts.

It's crazy, but it wasn't until I moved out here to Georgia where I felt like I was "less than" because of my complexion. I went through my little culture shock when we first moved like, "Damn, am I ugly? Were all the boys back home lying to me when they said I was beautiful?" After a while, I got my swagger back and just said "Eff it. I know I'm fly. They're just not up on it yet. Ha!"

I think within ourselves that skin tone shit is deep- deeper than anyone wants to admit. That's why you got females in the Carribean and Africa bleaching their pretty dark skin to high yellow. That's why so many talk about light skinned friends and relatives with pride and what not. Bragging on how light their eyes may be. I don't think that the "hate" that my friend spoke of came from nowhere, I believe that it's obviously a resentment of the light skinned girl rather than outright hate. Our own people made it that way. Perpetuating stereotypes.

Jarvis says that in some circles, the girl could be "ugly" as sin, but if she's light skinned she's good. Darker girls don't get a pass with that. After years and years of going through that, some girls are going to have a effed up attitude about the subject, like they hate light skinned girls. Some light skinned girls are going to see that they have that advantage (in certain circles) and they are going to behave as if they're privileged, or better. Of course, that's what they've been hearing their whole lives, from almost everyone. Why not take advantage?

Now I'm preaching. So I'm ending here. My final word is this though: Jarvis and I are both dark. Keiko came out brown skinned. I think she's gorgeous- the prettiest baby in the world, but I'll be damned if I let her think that it's because she's lighter than...

Damn I'm out the Loop...

I went to somebody's trap page the other day and heard "Telephone" by this girl. I'm kinda digging her. Kid Sister's on some house ish, but not straight techno. She calls it "ghetto house". Anyways, I don't usually like anything that even remotely sounds like it could be go-go, but her stuff is cool. It's good to see a female come out with something different and creative. Keep your eyes peeled.

I also need to cop the new joint from this insightful lady. I've been loving Erykah since age 13, not always realizing the depth of what she was saying until I went through my own ish. I heard it debuted at #2. A must-have. Most definitely. BTW, isn't this cover dope? Tip has always had this kind of underlying sexy, doncha think?

And finally just so y'all get the full idea of just how far out of the loop I am. I'm a native Brooklynite. Born at Brookdale. Raised in East New York. Went to Lincoln H.S. in Coney Island. Okay- so Heart of the City is coming to the A in about a month and guess who doesn't have their ticket yet. I know I'm slipping but this family life is no joke. Whenever I get ready to buy it, something else comes up. It's always something that a responsible adult would take care of immediately. So I'm trying to be responsible.

My homie from D.C. is begging me to stop playing and cop mine this weekend. He already has his. I'm thinking of ways to swing Creative Recreations for Keiko, new glasses & contacts for myself, and a ticket to see Jay. I'm not exactly young, hot and single anymore! Well- I'm still hot- at least a lil' bit! LOL.

"I'm On That Grey Goose... Do I Know You?"

Sometimes- okay it's getting to be pretty regular now, I drink- a lot. Well, not a helluva lot, but enough. I mean, after Keiko is asleep and her daddy's belly is full and we're all just on some chill ish. He and I get on it. Real life- busting your ass, working blue collar or service type jobs [sigh], when you clock out and forget that you work where ever it is, you try to forget for real with a snifter of that brown or a rocks glass of that white. I'll probably look at this post tomorrow like what the hell was I thinking but [shrugging shoulders] whatever. I'm on that Grey Goose...

I was in contact with my secret mentor recently. When I say "secret" I mean, she had no idea before I told her some years ago. I didn't even know her. It was so random too; I remember being thirteen, maybe fourteen years old reading her pieces in Vibe like, "Man, she's so eloquent. She just flows. I hope I can be like that one day. Where my pieces make someone feel like that. She's absolutely dope." And a few years ago, I was messin' with Kanye's publicist at the time, and we talked about aspirations. I mentioned dream hampton as a part of my inspiration and he was like, "I know her. You want her e-mail address?". And that was that. Jarvis always says to me, "You're lucky enough to speak with someone that had that much of an effect on you. A lot of people don't even have that, a lot of people don't even know what they wanna do." I love that I am able to ask her for advice, or questions, or whatever. It's flippin' great! Okay is the 'tipsy' showing now? I'm out.

Boy, I Really Need to Read More.

That's something that I'd been telling myself for what feels like the longest time now. After the loop repeats for a while: just working and coming home, watching a bit of TV, jumping on the i-net- I just feel like a damn dummy. Like, man, I need to go to Borders and just walk around. LOL. Just be in the presence of a book or three.

The other day, Jarvis, Kamaia and I had our weekly family outing (which due to our schedules, seems to occur about once a month now). We went to the mall hoping to tucker this tireless 3 year old out enough where she'd be napping as soon as we pulled back into the garage in 60 minutes. We went to Stonecrest and window shopped for a while. He did a bit of actual shopping at DTLR, then I wanted to go to the bookstore. I realized again why I like to do that type stuff on my own. The baby was restless and Jarvis was getting antsy. I didn't even get a chance to browse like I wanted to. I went in there to see if they had this Kanye book that I'd heard about on his blog. But there were a few others that I'd wanted to check out too. I had to cut the whole visit short and get the hell out of there, before Miss Keiko started terrorizing bookish patrons sitting in comfy looking chairs enjoying plots and scenarios. Next time, the fam stays home.