Why Are We Still On This?

One of my supreme pet peeves is having someone tell me that I'm pretty- to be dark skinned. I absolutely hate hearing that. It's really prickling to hear it from a Black man. Especially when he's a couple shades lighter or darker than you. It would be so much better to simply say: "You're pretty." What's so hard about plainly telling someone who happens to be of a darker complexion that they are beautiful without any of the "even though"s or the "although"s.

A friend of mine, super Afrocentric, follower of Islam, I like him a lot- but today, he got a little bit tipsy and he called himself complimenting me with that. I was almost mortified but Jarvis always tells me not to let that stupid shit bother me (he's my shade). I was annoyed, but I can't call our friendship off because of that. It's sad but the truth is: that mess is deep rooted in our culture, it started in slavery times! If I cut everyone off that thought like that, I'd probably have three friends/associates.

He was like, most dark skinned girls that he meets: they are either self conscious about their skin tone or they hate light skinned girls. At that point I looked at him like, "Go on..." But I still didn't get why he would think that his compliment was well worded. The white girl he said it in front of looked puzzled. Maybe she didn't think that went on within our race- I dunno.

I can't speak for every dark skinned girl, but I know that growing up in NY City, around Puerto Ricans, Dominicans, Columbians, Asians, white kids and light skinned Black kids; I never felt like I hated them because they were lighter than me. I never felt anything about my dark skin. I just knew that it was mine, I never wanted to change it. Never thought I'd be "better" if I was lighter. Most of my family is dark skinned with dark eyes. I never felt like I needed to "make up" for my dark skin with aqua green contacts.

It's crazy, but it wasn't until I moved out here to Georgia where I felt like I was "less than" because of my complexion. I went through my little culture shock when we first moved like, "Damn, am I ugly? Were all the boys back home lying to me when they said I was beautiful?" After a while, I got my swagger back and just said "Eff it. I know I'm fly. They're just not up on it yet. Ha!"

I think within ourselves that skin tone shit is deep- deeper than anyone wants to admit. That's why you got females in the Carribean and Africa bleaching their pretty dark skin to high yellow. That's why so many talk about light skinned friends and relatives with pride and what not. Bragging on how light their eyes may be. I don't think that the "hate" that my friend spoke of came from nowhere, I believe that it's obviously a resentment of the light skinned girl rather than outright hate. Our own people made it that way. Perpetuating stereotypes.

Jarvis says that in some circles, the girl could be "ugly" as sin, but if she's light skinned she's good. Darker girls don't get a pass with that. After years and years of going through that, some girls are going to have a effed up attitude about the subject, like they hate light skinned girls. Some light skinned girls are going to see that they have that advantage (in certain circles) and they are going to behave as if they're privileged, or better. Of course, that's what they've been hearing their whole lives, from almost everyone. Why not take advantage?

Now I'm preaching. So I'm ending here. My final word is this though: Jarvis and I are both dark. Keiko came out brown skinned. I think she's gorgeous- the prettiest baby in the world, but I'll be damned if I let her think that it's because she's lighter than...

Money in the Bank?

D-E-A-D! That's what work was looking like today. Had me feeling like, why did I even come in? But it's all good. I made my little bit of cheese here and there. I had a funny type guy at one of my tables tonight. I guess he was an ex NBA player or some ish. Anyways, he's out with a young lady who looked like she was scared to death of speaking above a whisper in front of him. He was pretty forceful. He sat down and was immediately adamant about a server- ANY server, changing the channel on the TV facing his side of the restaurant, to a Hawks game. When he saw that we have Direct TV and not basic cable (where you could see the game local) he was just exasperated.

"Just turn to a game. ANY game."

Fine. So we did. For the rest of the evening he was just real funny style. I can't describe it to regular folk unless you've ever worked in the food service industry. Everytime I came to the table, he was talking- either to 'ol girl or to somebody on his cell about his big plans in the works or whatever weird shit he was talking about. I didn't really hear the young woman speak until they were about to leave. It was like he wanted everyone to know that he was a "somebody." Before his meal, he was waiting on 'ol girl at the bar, and he demanded that the bartender change the channel on the TV facing him. Oh brother.

As soon as they sat down and I did my little spiel, he's like, "Where are you from?" I wanted to roll my eyes, because I can anticipate the question and I never see the point in discussing such minor details with guests unless I feel comfortable with them.

I tell him NY.

"Yeah, you know, I used to live up there." Like he wanted me to recognize his glory days on the court or where ever he was doing whatever he was doing up there.

"I can tell, It's just that you said 'y'all'." I told him that when I was home, I said 'y'all' I just don't have that drawl with it. I never did. He's not even really listening to me though, I could tell by his comment after:

"Yeah, you can't avoid that Southern [slang]. It just sticks to you once you're down here." I wanted to suck my teeth and tell him that I rep Brooklyn to death but my man and my daughter are from the A, so Southern doesn't bother me. Ass. Anyways, I sound like I'm giving your boy a hard time, so let me sum it up with this: This grown man, 'bout 6'4", 240, orders the roasted boneless chicken breast and says, "Ima need them to cut my chicken up. I don't want that big piece just sitting there." Right.

I Just Need My Ends Clipped.

"We don't do ethnic hair here."

You're a hair stylist though? Really?